Thursday, December 30, 2010

Brianna's 2010 in Music.

It’s the start of the new year! And before running off to celebrate by not getting drunk I thought I'd post this. Rather then discuss silly little promises that I probably won’t end up completing, I’d like to talk about music. The music that I’ve discovered, loved or just plain obsessed over during 2010. So, I’ve put together a 20 song soundtrack that pretty accurately describes my entire year. I ask you to excuse my extreme geekyness. It happens.

So, Here’s my Soundtrack for 2010, with links.

1. My Eyes - Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog Official Soundtrack - Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day
“Because the Dark is everywhere and Penny doesn’t seem to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain,”

Okay, Itunes says this is one of my most-played songs. Coming in at 149 plays since I downloaded it earlier this year. In all honesty, when it comes to listening to music, I use my iPhone, Itunes is played in my house maybe 1% of the time. So add a few zeros to the above number.
End of story - this song is AWESOME. Great duet. I’m a big fan of both Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day. If you haven’t seen the movie - watch it on netflix, or better yet, go buy the DVD. It’s one of those movies you can watch again and again.

2. I Like To Dance - Lovesick Electric - Hot Chelle Rae.
“Forget the romance, this is what music was created for...”

My musically inclined friend Alex over at Fake Pink Glasses introduced me to this band, and this song in particular earlier this summer.

If you like great dance music, you’ll love this song.

3. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Fame - Black Cards
“Arms trade, I deal and drink in spades. But heaven's got a gate full of metal detectors,”

I’ve been a huge Fall out boy fan*cough*girl*cough* for years (Sue me). After their breakup this year I was a little disappointed. But Pete put together a brand new band with a brand new sound. And all was good.
Despite the fact that they’re a bitter disappointment live (Bebe’s voice is sent through a few too many machines before being released, and live she just couldn’t hold up,) The lyrics are (as always) very well done.

4. Sputter- Lost in Pacific Time - The Academy is.
“Don't waste your breath. You wouldn't want this anyway,”

Been a fan of TAI for quite a while now, and they didn’t disappoint with their new EP. I love , love, love this song. I find this song especially moving. *shrug* I’m a romantic. Or something like that.

5. The Scene is Dead, Long live the Scene - Hot Mess- Cobra Starship
“ I can love you like a sailor, I can make you dance all night,”

Oh yes he can. CS’s a fun little band that continuously pumps out great beats and awesome dance music. While this song is a little deeper (and frankly, a bit more depressing) then many of their others, I still enjoy it deeply. It’s pretty much been on repeat since August 09’.

6. The Great Estates -Weathervanes- Freelance Whales.
“Parade our souls out by the back gate,”

I first heard this song over the summer on an episode of Haven.
Doris’s voice is haunting. I don’t know much about the band, but Darren Criss’s (A Very Potter Musical, GLEE) brother is in it and if talent runs in the family then the rest of this album should be pretty damn decent.

7. Let me go - The House Rules - Christian Kane.
“Don’t you know I’m no good for you? It’ll only break your heart,”

*shrug* Typical country love song. I just really love it. I think everyone’s been in a place where they feel undeserving.

8. A Lighthouses Tale - Nickel Creek - Nickel Creek.
“And then he climbed my tower, and off the edge of me he ran,”

I don’t know why, but lighthouses are depressing. Just, overall. Write a song from a lighthouses Point of view and you’re in for a sad little ride.

9. Runs In The Family - Who Killed Amanda Palmer - Amanda Palmer
“All day I've been wondering what is inside of me. Who can I blame for it? I say it runs in the family,”

Frankly, I’m sick of hearing about Amanda Palmer. But this is just one of those songs you want to attempt to sing along with and the content is something we can all relate to.

10. We All Fall Down - Sweet Talk Radio.
Another Haven song. There’s very little lyrical content to it, but the music more then makes up for it.

11. Can’t Go Home Again - Leverage Soundtrack - Joseph LoDuca
"It's the dance of a madmen, until his heart stops. It's the voices of angels chained to the rocks,"

First of all, I love Irish music. Add to the fact that it was written by Joseph LoDuca (The guy that wrote most of the music for the television series Xena! Warrior princess,) and you’ve got something awesome.

... Shit...I’m old.

12. The One - It’s Always Stormy in Tillamook - Meg & Dia
“I loved you more, than I would ever dare tell you,”

*coughs* Again, I’m a romantic. Need I say more?

13. Celebrity Status - Masterpiece Theater - Marianas Trench
“Trading in who I’ve been for Shiny Celebrity Skin, I like to push it and push it until my luck is over,”

Just have to say, the Music video for this song is a cross between hilarious and AWESOME.
This is another song Alex sent me. The great thing about having friends like Alex is that you will never be without a good musical suggestion.

14. Dotted Lines - Sweet Talk Radio
"My paper heart has been burning, since you threw a match,"

Yet another Haven song. It’s always a good thing when the shows you love come with a great soundtrack as well. This band is going places. I'll tell you, everything they've done so far is simply phenomenal.

15. Thinking of you - The House Rules - Christian Kane
“When you find your way to another town, and someone tries to lay you down, and a feeling hits you right out of the blue. That’s just me. Thinking of you,”

I love this mans voice. His lyrics aren’t always amazing. But the amount of emotion he puts into his songs makes up for it. Also - Love this man. Marry me?

16. Ghost - Moenie and Kitchi - Gregory And The Hawk
“I woke up with my mind on a reason, for why it’s right to be leaving you,”

No idea where I even found this one. Not something I’d normally listen to, but I spent hours writing to it on repeat this Autumn.

17. Make Me Wanna Die - Light Me Up - The Pretty Reckless.
“I can see in your eyes, your eyes, you make me wanna die,”

I don’t know what it is about this song, but it always makes me feel like I should be in a club somewhere doing something that brings various amounts of shame to my family.

18. If I Die of Young - The Band Perry - The Band Perry
“If I die young, bury me in Satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song,”

I’m starting to really enjoy country music again. This is just one of the songs I’ve found recently that’s made it to my “frequently played” list.

19. The House Rules - The House Rules - Christian Kane.
“Rule number 7 says don’t touch the women, but they can grab whatever they want to,”

Okay. Yeah. I’ve mentioned him a lot. Three times actually. See, I ran away from country music as soon as I could when I was younger. It was something my mother played constantly and I guess I was going through a point of needing some sort of separation and as a result country music hit the chopping block.
After I was older and had a general idea of who I was I strayed back a bit, only to find that the awesome Rock and Roll type country had been all but disposed of. Replaced with Country-pop and the generic “My dog hates me, I’m an alcoholic, and my wife left with the mail man,” type of songs. Big disappointment there.

Anyway, I feel Christian Kane is bringing the rock and roll sound back into country again.
I’ll admit it does help that I have a thing for both southern drawl's and dark broody guys.
Whether you disliked him as Lindsay on Angel, or even currently as Elliot Spencer on Leverage, you have to admit his music’s fun and funky.

Either way, He’s a trained fighter and can do things like this, so he’s okay in my book.

20. 17 - Sky Ferreira
“She got a fake ID, they’ll never know she’s 17,”

I think I like this song for the same reason I like “Make me Wanna Die”. Either way, Sky’s got an amazing voice, and the video’s pretty neat too.

And there you go. There’s my Year in music. Hope you’ve found something you enjoy or can relate too.

Happy New Year guys.
Lets hope for a interesting year full of adventure, love, excitement, and money.
Lots and lots of money.


Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Drabbles Plotline Order:
1. Agree To Disagree
2. Inside my head
3. Kiss you goodnight
4. What If?
5. Last Great Star in Hollywood
6.One Sail.
7. Going Away.
8. Are There Giants Too, In The Dance?
9. Here Here and Here,
10. Fighting For Nothing,
11. Bored Of Your Love,
12. Hug Me
13. Black Wedding.

And...I'm done.
Thanks again.
Until next time -

13. Here, Here and Here.

So, I'm actually not here posting this. I'm out of town today until midnightish, so I'm having blogspot post it for me.
Anyway, thanks for the reviews and the offline messages I received about these. I had a lot of fun.


“Been very far, made lots of friends
And I love my mother, hope to see her again,”

Living out of a truck wasn’t the grand adventure she’d expected. But it wasn’t terrible.

She’d gone miles from that little town.

It had been fun. At first. But it didn’t take long to realize that no matter how far or fast she drove, she still took herself, and her baggage with her.

Now the days seemed too long. Thoughts went back to the now-man she left behind and soon she was wondering if leaving him had been a mistake.

She checked the map one last time.

There was only one way to find out.

“I’m a wanderer now, sorrow befalls me
I laugh often so I suppose I’m gonna be fine”

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Web Comic's? =D

Hey guys,
My brother Von recently started a webcomic. It's still in it's beginning stages, and he's just doing it for fun, but it's funny and I think it has a lot of potential.

So head over here. To read Mourn On The Macabre, and make sure to leave a comment telling him how awesome it is. It updates on Tuesdays.

Not really interested? Well you should be.

I make a guest appearance.


12. Kiss you Goodnight

So, we're almost done here, can't say I didn't enjoy writing these things. I'll definitely be doing more drabble challenges in the future.
Anyway, onward!


“You open your mouth, like an asthma attack, you repeat,

“If all that you take from this is courage, then I’ve no regrets.”

He found her completely inspiring. Her personality had grown tenfold in only a matter of weeks after leaving her boyfriend. She was everything he thought she would be and more.

She was intelligent and serious, whimsical on her own terms.

If anything, he liked who she made him. She made him think.
He could honestly say he was a different person when he was around her.

Her thoughts were said aloud, no matter how honest or odd. Her emotions were hidden, but only below the surface.

He found himself speaking his own thoughts aloud.

If only to make her smile.

“Don’t settle for less again. You’ve become more than I could have become for you.”

Monday, December 13, 2010

11: Fighting For Nothing


“I’ve got my words. I hope they hurt you.

I hope they scar you. I hope they heal you."

“You think you can just come back after what you did?” He snarled across the kitchen table. He looked older, felt it too. Life hadn’t been kind to him recently. Or his home for that matter. Bottles littered the floor and table.

“What did I do that was terrible?” She snapped back. “I wanted a life,”

“What about me? You left me high and dry, you have no idea what it’s been like since you -”

“Then tell me,” She reached across the table and downed the last of his beer.

It was then he began to cry.

“Make you see that your hands you’re accounted for.
Pick and choose where your sweat and your blood will go.
Make you see your life’s not to be lived alone.
Run their spit through your hair, you’re worth nothing.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

10. Agree To Disagree.

Agree To Disagree.

“There’s something bout’ giving up,

It sounds so bittersweet,”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” He took her hand firmly and nodded, smiling.

She was cute, he noted while she returned the gesture.

Then again, the new kids always were.

Why her parents moved her here from the big city was beyond him.

He sighed begrudgingly at the bad timing as he watched her talk to some of his classmates.

If he hadn’t been dating someone, he’d be all over her like green on grass.

Just like his friends were right then.

He sighed again while glancing towards his own girlfriend.

Somehow, she just couldn't compete.

“Think I’ll throw in the towel right now,
(But fold it nice and neat,)”

Saturday, December 11, 2010

9. The Last Great Star in Hollywood

There is a mouse in my house.
No song link tonight.
That should cover it.

“And why we’re patient no one knows,”

It was funny. How everyone psyched him up for going to war.

‘You’re gonna be a hero kid,”

“You’re sacrificing so the rest of us don’t have to,”

They were encouraging words, but hollow once he saw true war. It wasn’t beautiful or heroic. It was cheap and bloody and raw.

He worried he’d made a mistake.

The smartest person he knew had tried to talk him out of it, but he’d persisted pridefully.

And all he was left with now were a constant stream of letters from home all starting with,

“Dear idiot...”

“I ask for just one prayer that I can put me into.
We’re the most modern man machines”

Friday, December 10, 2010

8. One Sail.

So, I have a life and it gets in the way. No one reads these anyway. :D

“My love rests in a shipwreck.
With a compass in his head.
I’ll wait for him, like vultures wait for bodies,”

There’s only so long you can wait for someone.

Her mother had told her that.


And maybe she was right. What was she waiting for anyway? A boy with a silly grin and no real understanding about how the world worked. Jesus, it never even crossed his mind that he could die. It had never even occurred to him.

Maybe he really was a simple boy with big dreams.

But he was sweet and caring, and had his moments.

Besides, loathed as she was to admit it, she loved him.

And that’s really all she felt mattered.

“I miss your half- Irish grin,
and our love is growing upside down.
They say you’ll never make it home!
But I will wait, won’t bury your clothes,”

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

7. Bored of your love

So...I'm getting bored.


I wish you would put effort in trying to make this work

(I would if you ask me, I'd do anything for you)

“I am trying,” She countered, squaring for a fight.

“So am I,” He snapped. His shoulders slumped and he looked psychically shaken. “But it’s not working,”

The truth was, it hadn't been working for a while. And they both knew it. They weren't children anymore.
There was only so much one could do.

“No,” She agreed, nodding. “It isn’t,”

“Lets take a break,” He offered, swallowing hard. “Just to see where things are going,”

She shrugged almost uncaringly while she packed as if already defeated. “Alright. Lets do that,”

She kissed his cheek and she was gone.


I wish we were strangers
(It's not like were strangers)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Brianna attempts "Teamwork"

I'm taking a quick break from my drabbles to tell you about something very near and dear to my heart.

Just kidding.

It's just a story about how I hate everybody.


When I was younger I was an incredibly frightened, painfully shy child. For some strange reason, my mother thought that things like friends, and love would make it all better.

So, she enrolled me in a private, advanced pre-school/kindergarden type place where you basically had your first year/year and a half of elementary school done and finished by graduation. (Age six or seven).

Before I go any further with this story, do you remember that kid back in school who was really, really smart, but sat in the back of the class and ignored everyone and you were secretly afraid that they’d finally just snap at the stupidity around them and do something terrible?

Well, Hi there petrified class-mate. That was me.

I don’t think my mother ever really thought about the reasoning for my shyness. In fact, now that I think about it, I think shy was a very misleading label. Shy seems to give the idea that one *wants* to do something “HI RANDOM STRANGER” but are too terrified too. *Random stranger = Pedophile*. While thinking back on it, I believe that I was just anti-social.

At school time I’d do all my work accordingly. During whatever big exam some outside-educators came and performed I hit very high marks. But play time was a happily lonesome time for me, because frankly, I didn’t like anyone. Torin was a spoiled rich kid who yelled and screamed when she didn’t get what she wanted. Cory was an abused kid from the ghetto that only got into the school on Financial Aid, and everyone else was kind of just there.

I also didn’t have a great love for the teachers. I was born with an innate sense of right vs. wrong, and frankly, I just didn’t like authority.

So, two years there and off to “real school” I went.

My mother, still trying to shower me with love and friends thought I should sign up for team sports.

She had NO idea what she was doing.

We started with soccer. Oh, yes, how I LOVED kicking that ball as hard as I possibly could at someo-I mean, a net. But I just never did get that ‘teamwork’ thing going on. So...I quit after a season.

Now, a year or so before all this I had started horse-back riding. This fit me just fine because there weren’t any teams. I started earlier then any of the other kids (The start-age at the time was 10) because, even at seven years old I was hog-crazy about horses. The instructor was more then impressed and I can’t help but wonder if I disappointed her with never going to competition with the skill. I wonder what she would have thought if I’d told her the only reason I had started was because I had this secret dream of becoming Xena: Warrior Princess.

On the other hand, I remember vividly the instructor running around her heated office editing legal paperwork that basically said “IF YOUR CHILD DIES YOU CAN NOT SUE ME,” and while I can’t remember exactly what was said between the instructor (who was impressed but still worried as hell) and my mother (who was trying *really* hard to make me happy), I can only assume it went something like this:

Instructor: She could die.
Mother: Okay.
Instructor: She could fall and become paralyzed or break her neck.
Mother: Alright.
Instructor: No, seriously, this is dangerous.
Mother: Where do I sign?

Anyway, I was all over horse back riding. Until winter came when it was cold and freezing and icy and who the hell wants to do anything in that? So, after my absolute failure at soccer, my mother needed something team like for me to do during the winter.

For some reason that still escapes me, she decided that I would benefit greatly shy- wise from Karate. Oh, mother mother mother, her high hopes were dashed again and again.

I remember my disregard for authority helping me very, very little in a dojo, and after the third class I was sobbing hysterically in my baby-way and begging never ever to go back.

Okay, I’m actually not all that cool. Really, some girl hit me and while I was scary at school, outside the protection of being the weird kid on the edge I was pretty much useless.

Karate was checked off the list of things to do.

My mother continued to try.

Writing classes, drawing classes, acting classes, money down the drain.

Finally, we started homeschooling, and after getting a dose of reality about how fucking crazy and weird homeschoolers were ( I mean, seriously, compared to them I seemed normal...) my mother gave up for a few years. All the books said to just leave your kid alone and let them figure everything out on their own.

This brought me archery and shooting, which I very much enjoyed, and guess what kids? You don’t have to be in a team.

Eventually, with my varying interest's Ieft archery and pretty much ignored extra curricular stuff.

And then,

It began again.

My mother decided I should try tennis.

Tennis and Sewing.

With other people.

“It’ll be fun!”

At this point, if there HAD been any hope of me liking people, it had long since been stomped to death.

Sewing was interesting, and I stuck with it for awhile.

Even after making another girl cry after a heated political debate. (She was a huge wimp).

Tennis.... in all honesty, I hated tennis.

I didn’t, and still do not see the point of running back and forth hitting a ball.

You aren’t even allowed to hit anyone with them.

So, yeah. That lasted.

Anyway, it’s been a year or so since my mother has pushed anything. Although sometimes, you hear her start

“Brianna, I think you should try *blank* I think it’ll be...” and then she stops herself and goes along with her business.

So what exactly are we left with?


Who does not play well with others.

6. Black Wedding.


What this is about.

Anyway, anyone who's been reading my writing for any length of time pretty much knows there's no happy ending.... not for me anyway.

Reference? Please? *sigh* My geekery knows no bounds.

"It's not all "roses" like your momma said,

We're not spoon fed anymore.
So you gonna tell, all our kids I was an "accident,"
Ironic, true, but that's the way you act, when you're upset, so let's take this outside."

This was not the wedding where he saw himself as the groom.

The women walking down the aisle was not the women he would have thought he’d be marrying.

No, that women was sitting several feet away looking incredibly bored.

But she wasn’t his bride and he was, unfortunately, the groom.

He wondered vaguely where everything had gone wrong while the wedding march played and the minister spoke. Had they had problems before he left? He could hardly remember anymore.

He’d loved her.

He still did.

So why in the world had he just said

“I do,”?

"Some people swore they saw the devil.
While most prayed they wouldn't last a winter.
It was a black wedding, your girl has blessings all around,"

Sunday, December 5, 2010

5. Inside My Head


“My boyfriend used my palm, as an ashtray,

And that was on his good days’

They hardly knew one another. Not until that last year of school.

So it was silly that they bonded so quickly.

He was the only one that tried to help her. The only one that mentioned the bruises. The only one who did something about them.

She wasn’t the type to just bring someone home.

But she’d known the minute he’d vowed no one would touch her again, That he was the one she wanted to be with.


The knowledge she lacked however, were his mutual feelings on the matter.

Watching from afar was getting boring.

“He got inside my bed,
He’s sleeping in my head,
He’s got hold of my hand...”

Saturday, December 4, 2010

4. Are There Giants Too, In The Dance?

Song. ^.^

It was harder. After she left. The abandonment had been shocking. Although, he had yet to reason what he had expected. She was a free spirit.

And with his scars, he was anything but free.

For the first few weeks home, with her, he’d found them easier to deal with.

The dreams.

The shell shock was real and terrifying.

She’d given him a sense of comfort.

Hell, the only reason he’d made it home was because not seeing her again was simply not an option.

But he was alone now, just dreams and thoughts of dead friends.

“You've got to learn to act like God.
You rule the world.
You give the word
and if someone should fall behind
just let their suffering slip your mind.”

Friday, December 3, 2010

3. What If.


“What if you

Counting on my failure
Made me live?”

“You’re a student, they won’t make you go,” She said looking at him as if he was stupid.

“But I want to go, I’m signing up,” He was surprised that she didn’t understand.

“You’re the kind of guy that shoots himself cleaning his own gun,”

"I'll learn, I want to do this,"

She scoffed at him.

"But it'd be nice knowing I have someone to come back to. Will you wait?"

The silence was short.

"Do I have a choice?"

He smiled then. Knowing it was as close to a yes as he'd ever get.

“But these soles
Can fight the ocean waves
Dirty Laundry and
World War Two,”

Thursday, December 2, 2010

2. Hug me.

Because I couldn't write a happy ending to save my own life.
Song is....Here.
Explanation on these Drabbles...?

“By the way,
I never really liked your hands on me
Never liked your ideas of
What is beautiful
Or real
Or truly holy”

“It’s hardly the homecoming I was expecting,” She said, leaning against the porch railing.

“Well what did you expect?” He snapped, anger that she’d shown up acting as if nothing had happened. “You can’t say you’re surprised,”

She shrugged in an uncaring manner. “I was only gone a year,”

“A years a long time,”

“I know, I waited almost three for you,”

He was silent, and began to look uncomfortable.

She rolled her eyes before turning and walking away, but not before calling out:

“Imagine how you would have felt coming home to find me engaged?”

“And I must say, you've thrown your apathy away.
Grown back into your diapers.
Will you die first,
Before you admit the truth?”

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

1. Going Away

Song is here.

“Finally it’s my time to be lonely,
and I can’t wait.”

“You don’t ask someone to marry you like that,” She was fuming, alone.

He was just back, practically right off the boat. What right did he have to go and propose like that?

She was special, and she knew it. She needed to travel, wander, to live.

Who said she wanted to settle down anyway? Just because he was ready didn’t mean she was.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to settle down. Ever.

Besides, If the boy had any sense he’d wait for her to figure it out.

Just like she’d waited for him.

“I said,
“Come on.
I’ve thought it over.
I don’t want to die here.
I’ve no desire to get married.”


For those of you who read this blog. My friends who know me, my stalkers who used too, and the three random people from Germany (WTF) some of you may know I dabble in fictional writing as well as a steady stream of popular fanfiction.

Anyway, after taking a wonderful writing course recently, I’ve been getting seriously into writing again. Around this time, a fellow author from a fiction-sharing site I frequent posted a challenge.

The challenge was as follows:
“Alright, pick your favorite album or band and write a drabble for each song. You can only listen to that one song while you write, but you can repeat the song as many times as you need to. The drabbles can be on just one album or all of one band's albums. They can have any characters, any themes, any pairings. No hold barred!


For those of you unawares, Drabble is a word often misused in the writing industry as “A short work of fiction,” In all actuality, a Drabble is a story that must be EXACTLY 100 words in length. Not 99. Not 101. 100. This is especially difficult for writers like me who spend most of their time on descriptions. This also makes for lengthly re-wording and editing.

So, here we go. I’ve started my Drabble challenge with Meg & Dia’s album Here, here and here.

So for the next 13 days I’ll be posting a Drabble a day. The Drabbles are in order of song placement on the album, not plot time line. So things may be a bit confusing. But that’s part of the fun. I’ll get around to posting the actual plot time line so you can go back and Re-Read them in correct order.

Anyway, the Drabbles are all connected, following a un-known time line between two main characters sometime during the 1930’s-40’s-50’s? (Even I don’t know!) Someone asked me recently to try my hand at romance again, so here I am.

As always, everything but the lyrics (Plot, characters, quotes) are copy written by me and the voices in my head.


P.S. Because these are so easy to read (i.e. Short) and my first real attempt at romance in quite some time I would appreciate comments/reviews of them. *cough* Cookies for commenters...?