Monday, July 20, 2009

One Show. No Encores.

Life is a show. And we’re all actors. We’re the villains, the white knights, the lovers and sometimes the anti-heroes.
We’re the friends, the partial characters, the thieves, and the killers.

Life is an act, a show we don’t get recognized or paid for. A lifetime performance.
Something none of us auditioned for, but something we were thrown into, forced into. Like a set of blond twins with a couple of stage parents.

If there’s one thing I learned from growing up with a theater background – it’s that shows do not always go as planned. People forget they’re lines, costumes tear, and people break under the pressure.

Sounds a bit like life doesn’t it?

So, if you think about it – The world is one big theater.

The problem is that we don’t have a script to memorize, or a director to tell us what the heck we’re doing.

In the end- we’re the actors, the producers and the directors of our own lives.

Talk about a crappy metaphor eh?

I was told recently that I don’t know what I want to do with my life because I don’t know myself. I don’t know who I really am. Maybe that’s true.

But that got me wondering. Do any of us know who we really are?

We’re all actors. But we’re also all liars.

Everyone is a liar.

For no other reasons then the fact that everyone lies.

So the problem with life isn’t that we’re liars, or that we’re actors.

It’s that we’re both.

Because we’re all nothing more then lying actors, and we all have been since we could learn to talk – we’re good at it. Great actually.

Maybe it’s completely unintentional. Maybe you don’t even know you’re lying anymore.
Maybe you truly believe the character you play everyday is who you really are.

Maybe you never thought about it.

But take a day. Think about everything you say or do. Count how many lies you find yourself performing.

Does it feel like you?
Here’s the truth about the truth.

It hurts.

A lot.

So we act.

We lie.

We lie so we don’t get hurt. We lie so others don’t get hurt. We lie so the characters we play can stay characters.

So no one will know the difference.

So in the end - we’re all just really good actors.

Maybe we’re all so good we don’t even know who we really are.

But we better start figuring out.

Because in the end, all life is…




Sunday, July 5, 2009

Mid(teen) crisis.

Where did all out childish hopes and joys go?

Who decided I wanted to grow up?

Who knows how to make it stop?

I’ve been pretty nostalgic recently, not even for last year, when my social life was pretty good and I had lots of friends, I don’t think I even care about that anymore. What I do know is that I miss my childhood.

That’s weird isn’t it? A 16 year old wanting to be a little kid again. It’s usually the other way around isn’t it? Wanting to jump the next two years and finally become adults. I’m not like that.

I, myself, miss my construction paper, my crayons, and my snack time.

I miss the time when you really thought you COULD be anything, or do anything

I think I miss kindergarten most.

I mean, what do you have to worry about in kindergarten? Regular Milk, or chocolate…decisions decisions…
Remember being little, you never worried about anything, and your parents made most of your choices for you, which – if you didn’t like, you’d forgotten about the next day.

You could play with anyone on the school ground, there was no separation of stereotypes, no shunning, and – when you said, “you’re my new best friend” you actually meant it.

It’s almost terrible how fast we’re made to grow up in this country.
What with this whole twelve years olds with babies, and 9 year olds with cell phones.


I wish they told you life was going to be such a disappointment. Maybe you could make a decision about if you wanted to grow up or not.

Who would have left they’re naptimes and crayons if they knew how backstabbing, painful, disappointing and horror-filled, the world would be?

I know I wouldn’t have.

So, lets say your best days are that of kindergarten, and it just gets worse from there. Who the hell wants to last till middle age?

Just shoot us now. Lets get it all over with. Who wants to deal with another 20 years of crappy people, crappy education, job hunting, house hunting, friend hunting, hate groups, school shootings, environmental destruction and madness…. all the religious extremists and republicans running amok. Can someone buy me a ticket back to kidville please? What happened to worrying about how many pokemon you caught that day? I miss my freaking pokemon!

So, I think we can officially say that Brianna wants to go hang out with Peter Pan and the evil mermaids of neverland. (Speaking of which – yes Michael Jackson is dead, and no – I do not wish to visit his neverland…)

Anyone with me?